A spiritual mentor once said, “Dating is not biblical” and once I heard that, I was shocked and of course I did not agree with the statement at that point because I have dated in the past, and I thought in my head, ‘how could one not date the person they are supposed to marry’. As God began to open my eyes, I began to see how reasonable and true the statement is. Here is how…
What does it mean to date anyway? Dating, according to the dictionary is to “go out with someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested in”. This definition is infact everything the bible stands against. Some may argue that dating is when you get acquainted with the person you intend to marry, well if you are spiritually cognizant, you do not need to go out with a person for years to know whether they are the one to marry. God would have spoken to you about this person from the beginning and if they are not the one for you, there would not have been any need for you to waste your time. The act of dating has only become the norm because people no longer hear from God, as a result of this, they check or shop around for whom they think is the best for them and a lot of times, they choose wrongly anyway regardless of how long they were checking to see if the person is good for them.
A man who is in search of a wife knows what God has put in his heart to find, he does not need to engage in sexual relations with you before he knows you are the one, he comes with the intention of marriage because at that point, God has spoken to him about you and he knows he has found the one God spoke to him about and then, he is ready to marry you. He is not telling you to wait for years where sexual temptation is given the opportunity to set in. What dating does is to open doors to sexual sin, heartbreaks, manipulations etc. As a woman, you only expose yourself to unnecessary sexual temptation and heartaches by dating different men before you are actually ready for marriage. Dating will only open you up to being vulnerable to the desires of the flesh which is sex. Sex outside of marriage is an invitation for the enemy to have a stronghold over your life. Sex is more than the physical pleasure, sex is so much more than people realize, when you have sex with a person you become one with this person. (Mark 10:8 “and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one) Here, let me break it down for you, you share in the trials and tribulations of this person, you share in their problems, struggles or troubles, you share in their demons if they have one or maybe even more etc. Sex is only a blessing to you within the confines of marriage. Imagine having slept with so much men that you carry bits of every one of them around and you don’t even know where to begin to troubleshoot your spiritual problems.
As a Christian woman, I know it is hard to wait for a man after God’s own heart in a world where everyone has a ‘Boyfriend’. Do yourself a favor, pray and wait for God’s appointed time. Some women that are married and chose the wrong person can tell you of the burden they now bear alone in their homes if they are being truthful. Most of them would probably never tell you about it. It is well hidden behind social media filters and unhappiness that is masked with laughters and makeups. Do not turn yourself to an emotional and spiritual embargo for the man God would provide for you after a faithful wait.
Do not already do the duties of a wife to a boyfriend and be left with nothing but remnants for the man that truly deserves you. Pray and work towards the purpose of God for your life while you wait to be ready for marriage and meet the man that is ready as well. The choice of a spouse God has for you is far greater than what you currently are chasing after. Wait for God faithfully, And if you are out there considering settling because you feel like you have waited enough, don’t do it, the plan of God for your life is so much more than what you want to settle for, Wait for God, He’d surprise you and show himself in the way you never thought possible in Jesus name.