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My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup, Nigerian Man Cries Out

So I started dating this girl about this time last year. Things were rosy because I just came back to the country and I was having much money with me. I tried my best to give her what she wants. As times goes on, earlier on this year, we had a little misunderstanding and I initiated a breakup. Of a truth, the issue was minor and didn’t warrant a breakup. She sent my friends to beg me. We kept on going. Along the line, things became rough for me and suddenly, her respect for me started reducing. She hardly create time for us. She is currently in school in another state while I am in Lagos. At this point, we usually breakup up and come back. They were minor things though but sometimes we don’t talk for a while. The last time it happened, she said if we ever break up again, we are never coming back together. And then, When things started going wrong with me financially, she advised to leave the country that it will better me as well as her. But I declined. Gradually , our seeing time reduced. Sometimes she will be in Lagos and we will see just once or twice and she usually tell me that she is busy that’s why it’s like this.

Fast forward to last month. Her elder sister has a wedding and we needed to travel together. So we used my car. Half way into the journey my car engine knocked. The car had to be towed to Lagos while we continued our journey. She even provided part of te money we used in towing the car back to Lagos as well as paying the rest of the fare till we got to our destination. Meanwhile, She was talking to different guys on the phone though the conversations were not related to us but I felt this jealousy in me. While on the journey I asked her if there was someone else and she said no. I asked her to give me her phone and she did without arguing and even opened it. Then I returned it back to her without going through it. Then I asked her what I can do at this point. Cuz now there is no finance from anywhere coming in. As a matter of fact, I was using that particular car for Taxify and now the engine is down. She said she had told me before but I didn’t listen and that I should leave the country and things will be better for me again. I said okay am going to do it this time. So my mind was to come back to Lagos after the wedding and I sell it off. She was even crying while telling me.

On the day of the marriage I took another car from home and helped with the things I could. Taking her and her friends to and fro with respect to the wedding. The day after the wedding, she called me to come pick her from the hotel her friends that came for the wedding were lodging. I got there and we started taking things to the car I brought from the rooms her friends lodged. On our way to the car, a man stopped her and she was having a conversation with the man. And the man was laughing with her and even exchanging contact. This is a man in the 40s. At this point I was furious but I kept quiet. When she was done she came to the car and we set off for her house. She saw in me that I was angry. She then asked me what was wrong and I told her my mood has changed. She asked me to go drop her at the hotel and that when my mood is back on, I should come pick her. I then tuned back, and she came down. Cuz of the love I have for her, I didn’t want this to degenerate to something else. I came down I told her the act was wrong. She then told me if it’s wrong for her to talk to people and meet people because she is dating me. I said it’s not wrong but me being there, it’s disrespectful and besides there are ways she can tell me to excuse her in order to show that she is concerned about me. She then replied and said am speaking English. I felt so back with that statement. I just dropped her stuffs and drove back home.

When I got home, I sent her a long message on Instagram telling her that I cannot continue in this relationship. That I need my respect back and making money is the only value that will bring my respect back. She replied with just thanks. 3 days later, I couldn’t continue a life without her. I called her in the morning. At this point , she has blocked me from communicating with her on Instagram. I asked her to forgive me for what I said and that I was just frustrated with the way things ain’t going well with me, coupled with my car and finances. She told me that she cannot date me again and has moved on. I thought it was a joke. I kept on begging but she has made up her mind.

Last week, I started talking to her with a random account on Instagram and posed like someone that is interested in her and has feelings for her. I also told her that I am not in the country at the moment and will be back next month. For 5 consecutive days we were talking. She even initiated a video call and I declined. Then I asked her about her relationship and she said it’s complicated. That she hasn’t heard from the guy in 2 weeks. And explained all that happened to him. She revealed so many things to me via that conversation. Then I now called her with my number. She then knew I was the one. I started pleading with her again , telling her that I am sorry. She said she has moved on. That the only language she understands now is money which I cannot offer her. That she is tired of this love thing. That if I beg from now till forever , she is not interested. That I should go and make money. That she needs someone that can pay her bills and that the only thing she can do for me is being friends with me. Of a truth she needs money to pay her school fees plus accommodation fee in school which is upward from N300,000 and I cannot provide that now. So she said she needs someone that can be giving her money and that she has suffered enough; But dating me, she can never do that again.

I love this girl and it’s hard to let go. Maybe with time, I will. But how do I let go of what I feel for her and how can I move ahead at this point? Yes she has motivated me to go make money and be a better person. But it hurts me so bad that after making this money, some other lady will be the one spending the rest of my life with me. Yes I bleeped up by not listening to her when she first asked me to leave the country. And I bleeped up by initiating a breakup due to my frustration. But my heart lies with her and hopefully with time, I will heal and make enough money that this experience will be a thing that will make me smile when I look back and think about it.

Please anyone that has gotten over someone you have been so much emotionally attached to, I need your help towards getting over her because right now, the whole experience is killing me.

Thank You

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